I am happy to report this evening that nephew Pete (all of him, not just the part you see here) starts preschool tomorrow, and that the rest of the news out there in the wide wide world is not all bad.
The Associated Press, with some Reuters and New York Times thrown in, reports:
1) A chimp in China is trying to quit smoking. She's kicking her 16-year-old habit using dumplings and pop music.
2) The Catholic Church no longer swears by truth of the Bible. THE hierarchy of the Roman Catholic Church has published a teaching document instructing the faithful that some parts of the Bible are not actually true.
3) Mason Neck, VA was not mentioned in the study that ranks the most dangerous places where U.S. children walk, though I'd book it outta Memphis if I was a tot.
4) The Danish Air Force has agreed to pay about $5,000 in compensation to a part-time Santa Claus man whose Rudolph died of heart failure when two fighter jets roared over his farm.
5) With BolsheBoy Lenin's ideologies down the toilet, Russians don't know what to do with the old coot's body. "I would not care even if he were thrown on a garbage heap," the New York Times quotes Valeriya Novodvorskaya, head of the Democratic Union.
With such amazing tidings, I couldn't think of anything better to do on this Indian Summer day south of the Mason/Dixon line but to celebrate by cleaning out one of my dresser drawers.
1) A snake of pantyhose dating to, perhaps, the Nixon administration;
2) 37-1/2 spare buttons of all shapes, colors and size;
3) A fake tiara, saved perhaps to accompany one's boom-dee-yay;
4) Three fashionable belts, none which would fit around one of my ankles now;
5) Enough holy rememberance cards of dead relatives that a higher power and I could play poker, though I am terrible at it;
6) $3.47 worth of change, enough to buy a gallon of gas today if I get a move on, or an 1/8th of a pack of smokes if I lived in Canada; plus a
7) Small beheaded statue of the Infant of Prague, won by yours truly in the third grade at St. Aloysius School in West Caldwell, New Jersey as reward for clobbering classmates in a weekly spelling bee. The head of the saint statue was also found, rolling around in the back of the drawer with some elderly breath mints.
But the most unique items rediscovered were
a troll bow, complete with barrette clip, perfect for that next gremlin gala or impish roundup one might consider attending at some future date, and
the always-tasteful Christmas with Zamfir music tape, featuring that Greek god's famous renditions of Jingle Bells and Ave Maria, delivered hauntingly on his treasured Pan-flute. The cassette cover also features old Gheorghe looking rather fetching in a fur coat.
One wonders how these treasures get possessed. Seeing these priceless items once more reminds me of the annual holiday GAG (as in retch) gifts that travel about the clan, placed secretly in some Christmas stocking or wrapped in a box the size of a refrigerator for one to exhaustively open.
I'm all set for this year. Let it snow!